I was in my early 20s when I got married and became pregnant unplanned soon after. The society celebrated me for fulfilling my promise as a woman but inside, I was sulking. I was not ready.
My peers were climbing their career ladder, whereas my pregnancy became the reason for pulling me out of projects at work and pushing me to resign. Recession times made it tough for a pregnant woman to land another job. I was unemployed, insanely jealous of my friends, and worse, I blamed my baby. After my son came along, motherhood got to me and made me more accepting of my situation. I eventually got another job “in spite of a break” and moved on.
A decade later, an Uber driver told me that her daughter had put off having kids for work reasons. When she did try to have one, she learned about her medical condition that could have been corrected had she known earlier. After 12 years of trying different treatments, she settled for a dog at the age of 42.
To have, not have or when to have children is a couple’s decision. Unaccommodating pregnancy at work and making comeback difficult for mothers are often reasons for people to shift priorities. That daughter’s regret and mine stemmed from our job getting in the way of our life’s choices. I hope we fix the system for the daughters of tomorrow.
Originally published at https://autholish.com on November 1, 2019.
